


in time of daffodils(who know

by summerstorm



Category: Freaks and Geeks
Genre: Bisexuality, Community: lgbtfest, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-18
Updated: 2009-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Kelly has really good friends, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. For the prompt <i>Freaks and Geeks, any characters, confused about sexually but ultimately coming out - reactions of other characters w/ possibly romance.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	in time of daffodils(who know

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write two stories for this prompt, but I even had to rush this one to get it posted today, so I'd like to apologise to the prompter, especially because I think the other story I'd planned would have been more to their taste. Title from E.E. Cummings.

**zero.**

At some point during the summer, Lindsay's army jacket becomes an unofficial blanket for Kim. Kim's never been much for subtleties, and she'll willingly sleep on the floor if it takes an effort to sleep somewhere soft, but sometimes they sit on the grass and Kim lies back and Lindsay turns out to have more neuroses than Kim expected.

"Hey, take this," Lindsay says, holding out her jacket. "I'm sure it's more comfortable for your head than the ground."

Sometimes Laurie sits beside her on it, when she's wearing a skirt. Kim doesn't know how Laurie dodges the metal teeth of the zipper every time, but either she does or she's too high on whatever she's had slipped to her that she doesn't care, so Kim doesn't either.

Then they're in the van and both couches are full and Kim is kind of scared by the idea of lying over a pack of hippies, so she sits on the floor. On the army jacket.

And Laurie smiles and bites her lower lip and relocates beside her, even though she had a perfectly comfortable place on the armchair. Laurie giggles when someone says something funny and leans into Kim, puts her hand on her thigh, keeps it there. Her fingers trace random patterns over Kim's jeans, and Kim stares at them for a few moments, hoping Laurie will take the hint.

It's a lost battle before it even begins.

The third time, Kim finds herself leaning closer to Laurie.

The fourth time, they stay back while Laurie's friend shows the hippies out. Kim has a vague notion that they're in Colorado, but she's high and she wouldn't care if she wasn't, anyway. Laurie turns towards Kim, squeezes her thigh in a way that Kim recognizes as a proposition, and when Kim moves her head to face her, Laurie just takes the last step and pretty much smashes their lips together.

Kim's first instinct is pushing her away and acting offended, but it takes her brain about ten seconds to put instinct and action together, and by that time Kim's holding onto Laurie's shoulder and kissing back.

It's weird.

It's weird because with Daniel, Kim always has to push and push and push to have some control, and it's not like Daniel is the manliest man there can be, but he takes the role seriously, which Laurie does not. Laurie shifts a lot against her, gets closer, practically makes a burrow out of Kim's body. Her small hands move all over Kim's body randomly, not unlike the Deadheads, going from one point to another and never staying put.

Kim likes it. It's creative and exciting, and not in the way that Daniel is creative and exciting because you never know when he's gonna point out something and be offensive and they're gonna stop making out and start fighting.

It happens every now and then, during the summer. Laurie squirms beneath her and over her, too much coffee, too little sleep. The fact that she's having sex with a girl only crosses Kim's head twice: one time she's run out of trustable product and Laurie's dancing around the fire and Kim notices —late— that she's kind of leering. Another time she can't fall asleep with the noise outside and Lindsay's almost snoring softly on the couch and Kim notices that this is the same world her real life's in. That she's having sex with a _girl_.

She's not really confused as to _why_.

Even so, when school starts again, while Lindsay's doing time in her room for her awesome choices in life, she falls back into Daniel's bed and sometimes she doesn't even push, she's just mellow, and she finds that she likes that just as well.

 

**one: daniel.**

She doesn't mean to tell Daniel first. She knows Daniel is an idiot and will make a big deal out of it and they'll fight and break up and get back together. It's worthless. It's stupid and worthless.

Then again, that's never stopped her before.

"You _what_?" Daniel says.

"Had sex with a girl, Daniel," Kim explains. Daniel furrows his brows like they might have the key to his brain. "I knew you were slow, but this is, like, the _one_ thing—"

She stops because Daniel waves a hand for her to. "I get the basics," he says. "You're just telling me this to make me jealous, aren't you?"

Kim is flabbergasted.

"It's probably not even true," Daniel claims, pointing a finger at her. "It's like. Like. You're lying to make me jealous. But if it was true, it would be hot."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kim says, raising her voice. They're in her room, it's not like the neighbors aren't used to the noise.

"Calm down, Kelly. I get it. You feel threatened. It's totally fine."

"I _what_?"

"Yeah," Daniel says, pretty sure of himself. "You're like, swearing off men. Except you're not, because you're still sleeping with me. So you're just—saying it. But you lie a lot."

Kim can't even be angry because she has no idea what he's talking about.

"You slept with a _girl_. But she doesn't have a name."

"What do you mean she doesn't have a name? I didn't tell you her name because I didn't think it mattered!" Kim growls.

"Oh, yeah? So who is it?"

"Laurie," Kim yells. "I slept with Laurie, okay? You can go ask her if you don't believe me."

"Laurie? Like, the deadhead?"

"_Yes_, Daniel, like the deadhead."

Daniel laughs. He sounds fucking dumb when he laughs, Kim thinks, and it's really unfair that she finds it so hot. The way his neck vibrates, she just wants to throw herself at him even though he's laughing at her and it's fucking denigrating.

They fuck anyway, and she forgets about it.

 

**two: ken.**

It's not like Kim was trying to come out or something. It's more like, well, her life's pretty fucked up as it is, and telling Daniel all her sexual conquests is kind of a constant. Even though most of them are lies and she knows it and he figures it out soon enough. Kim doesn't wanna know how.

"So, this deadhead chick," Ken starts saying. They're sitting in the bleachers and Kim doesn't think it's going anywhere. "Did she beg for it?"

Kim turns to Daniel, doesn't move forward or anything, but Daniel starts back anyway. "You _told him_?"

"It's not even true anyway," Daniel claims.

"Why would I lie about that?" Kim spits back.

"I don't know, it'd make you stand out or something. You hang out with us, it's not like people have a good image of you."

Kim hopes her open mouth conveys how much she wants to roar at him and threaten to slash his neck open. "One, I don't _bask_ in our weirdness, okay? It's just the way it is. And two, I told _you_ that in confidence." She turns to Ken and says, lowering her voice. "And three, just because I banged a chick doesn't mean I'm—" She puts on a mocking voice. "'one of the guys' and wanna talk about it with _you_."

Ken frowns, looks at the pitch and says, presumably to Daniel, "Man, are you sure she's lying?"

 

**three: nick.**

Evidently, Nick knows, too. The fact that Kim is at all surprised when he brings up the topic is testament to how fucking perplexed by the whole thing she is.

"Maybe we should just ask her," Nick says. Kim is about to ask why when Daniel interrupts.

"Yeah, man. That's like, foolproof."

Then it dawns on her.

"Well, not really," Nick points out. "I mean, she's kinda high all the time. She probably wakes up that way. Can you really take her word for anything?"

"Can we really take _your_ word, Nick?" Kim asks. Now she's pissed. "How did we get back on this subject, anyway? It's not that big a deal. Get over it." Daniel looks at her, his eyebrow threatening to go up a little. "I lied, okay? I lied to make you jealous," she says, getting up. "Whatever."

Before she leaves the hearing range, she distinctly notes Daniel saying,

"Okay, now I know she's lying."

If she was still carrying her empty tray, she'd hurl it at his idiot head.

 

**four: laurie.**

"No," Laurie says. "No, no. I'm not—no."

Kim's standing a fair foot away from Laurie, who's getting some books out of her locker. Laurie doesn't even deign to look back and face Kim—she just chuckles and says no breathlessly, like she's willing herself not to be nervous.

"What is wrong with you?" Kim says.

"What is wrong with me?" Laurie sing-songs.

"You're a deadhead. You spent the summer in a dirty van smoking pot. Why can't you just tell the truth?"

Laurie turns around, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like she's not sure how to approach whatever it is she's gonna say. And maybe Kim's not the most self-aware person out there, but she hasn't felt the need to deny anything. Her family doesn't know, and they probably never will unless Kim lets it slip during a fight just to spite them, and even then they won't take her seriously. Laurie's—well, actually, Kim doesn't know shit about Laurie, but if her parents don't notice she's stoned all the time, Kim doesn't see why Laurie should care about this either.

"I'm not," Laurie begins in something of a whisper, not that anyone's paying attention. "I'm—that was just. Experimenting, okay? I'm not—I'm not like that."

"Can we talk in private?" Kim suggests.

Laurie shrugs and nods.

The bathroom's surprisingly empty. Maybe the universe is compensating.

"Okay," Kim says, and pins Laurie to the wall.

Laurie's eyes glance down at Kim's lips. "I'm not—seriously."

"You sound so sure of yourself, Laurie," Kim says, and kisses her.

If what Laurie does isn't kissing back—and being surprisingly enthusiastic about it for someone whose mouth tastes vaguely of having smoked something that even Kim doesn't recognize—Kim will gladly start wearing summer dresses.

Kim breaks away quickly, and Laurie follows her lips before she realizes how little her case is being helped.

"You are clearly not," Kim says.

"You're dating Daniel," Laurie says. "You're not either."

"What, so I can't be bisexual because I have a _boyfriend_?"

"I just. Why would you tell them that?" says Laurie quietly.

"Because they didn't believe me."

"No, I mean, why would you tell them about you."

"Why would I not?"

Laurie looks at her shoes.

"Oh. You really—"

"I just don't want—that stays with you. I _love_ the Grateful Dead, and I love following them around, and I love my people, but they're not all—they're not like your friends. They make a big deal out of things. And I can stop smoking and do something different with my life, but I can't stop people from knowing I'm—you know."

"Bi?"

"Not exactly."

"But there's nothing wrong with that," Kim says. Maybe her perspective of the world has been a little skewed, but she can't find anything to deny that this—whatever she had with Laurie, whatever Laurie feels towards Kim or anyone else—is fine.

"I know," Laurie says, sounding surprisingly clear. "I know. It's just—not everyone thinks that."

That's when Kim realizes that it's probably not a good idea to out people without their consent, and she's lucky to have these freaks as friends.

 

**five: lindsay.**

"I cannot believe you asked Laurie," Kim says, putting as much of a punch behind her words as she's capable of.

"You told me to," says Daniel. "Plus, I proved my point."

Kim scowls. "You did not prove your point," says Kim. "People lie about this stuff all the time, you know."

"So what?"

"I didn't expect she would."

There's a reason Kim Kelly's the way she is: feeling vulnerable _sucks_.

"I don't know," Lindsay says. "Are you sure she wasn't just—experimenting?"

"She started it," says Kim. "And kept starting it. All summer."

"Didn't you _see_ anything?" asks Nick.

Lindsay shrugs. "She sat next to you a lot, but that doesn't—I mean, I thought you were just bonding or sharing drugs or something."

"You sound so naïve," Nick points out fondly.

"So even if I had not had sex with a girl," Kim enunciates, "that doesn't mean I don't _know_ I'm attracted to them, okay? And I thought you guys would appreciate it if I told you."

It's not like Kim was trying to make a big deal out of it. It's like, she shares everything with her friends. Well, not everything, but the important stuff. They can't really freak out, because they've all been through worse. Honestly, Kim doesn't see how her having sex with a girl is anywhere near Ken dating a band geek with ambiguous genitalia. Actually, maybe that's why they're all so stupid about it. Maybe it's just _tame_.

"It's kinda weird, though," says Lindsay.

"What is?"

"I'm not—judging you or anything. Live and let live, but isn't Laurie kind of—?"

"What?"

"Unattractive?"

"Because she's a girl?"

"No, just. I don't see it."

"That's probably better for all of us," says Kim.

"No, actually," Ken begins, closing his eyes, "I totally see it."

Kim smacks him in the arm. "You guys are assholes."

"She is kind of hot," Nick says offhandedly, shrugging. "If you like pretty little blondes." Then he glances pointedly at Daniel, raises an eyebrow.

Daniel rolls his eyes.

Kim laughs and shakes her head, sits next to Daniel, rests her head on his shoulder. She should be allowed some softness every now and then. "You guys are ridiculous," she says, and it's hard to doubt they won't know to take it for what it really means.


End file.
